He would buy tickets for everyone at our school and off we would go in the big yellow busses .. The sounds of young children's delight and excitement in the air.
I always felt special because my grandpa was in "The Big Show!" I remember my cheeks would hurt from smiling so much. Smiles of love and fondness for this most important person ..
We spent the afternoon at The Shriner's Circus with Jaxon, and even though we laughed and smiled and had fun, I couldn't help but feel a twinge of sadness remembering my grandpa and the feeling of just how much I miss him .. Every.Single.Day.
With every velvety, maroon Shriner hat I saw that day, I remember the pride my grandpa had when he wore his. I remember him letting me try it on. It was so big and would fall down and cover my eyes .. As it would sit on my nose it would smell of grandpa, the most comforting smell in the world! .. The tassle tickeling my cheek. I felt love in that hat.
It's in these times, these moments, these precious memories that I miss my grandpa the most. I think of him so very often. I wonder what it would be like with him here? Would our family be closer, happier? Would we smile more, laugh more? Delight in each other's victories more? Support each other's failures more? Because, these are all of the important things my grandpa instilled in me.
What would he think of Jaxon? That's what hurts my heart the most. He was the most caring, generous, loving, wonderful grandpa. He always provided a need and would give to wants with such happiness. I wish Jaxon could have had the opportunity to have known this extraordinary man and for my grandpa to have known Jaxon. My heart fills with a longing to see and bask in his never-ending love again.
I love you my circus clown.
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| My Circus Clown |
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| Jaxon, Daddy and The Big Show! |
